Urgent message from KetchupTV.co.uk!
We are deeply sorry to announce that, due to an oversight, our website was recently discovered to be working. We are doing our best to rectify this as quickly as possible. Your satisfaction is very unimportant to us and we don’t want you to run away with the idea that we care two hoots about you.
We were disappointed to find out that customer reviews gave this website 5 stars last week. We are working hard to make this experience as painful and fruitless as possible. We expect plenty of bad feedback next week. Please don’t hesitate to give us minus stars if you can find a way to do so.
Please make yourself at home while we correct this problem.
Unfortunately for you, we are now going to extort money from you if you wish to watch one of our programmes. This will apply whether the programme actually works or not.
Please come back soon and let us annoy you even more.
Have a very irritating evening.
Any further complaints must be forwarded to http://www.ketchuptv.co.uk/deafears
Please do not send our geeks rotten tomatoes, sour milk or letter bombs through the post.